Rejection SUCKS ASS — Here’s Why It Can Be Your New Best Friend.

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Last week I got rejected. Hard.

I went for a new job and thought there was no way I would get rejected.

I was wrong.

They told me I wasn’t strategic enough.
They told me I needed more leadership experience.
They told me I’d be mostly good at execution only.

And they told me I wasn’t entrepreneurial enough.

That last one hurt the most. One of the compliments I get all the time is that I’m very entrepreneurial. In fact, I remember a customer telling me that they didn’t want to work with me because they thought I was too entrepreneurial (go figure).

While my recent encounter with rejection was tough, it taught me so much (such is life).

Sometimes rejection hurts but it’s a must.

Without rejection, I would have never considered other options. The meaning of my life would have stayed fixed. The week following my big rejection was a week of contemplation. I met with mentors, friends and recruiters to get new ideas.

This circle of influence gave me feedback on my rejection. Their opinions helped question my own opinion about my rejection which was a must. Naturally, my brain defaulted to the thought that is “Tim you’re not good enough buddy.”

From years of personal development, I know this thought to be wrong. What I believe is the most important thing.

“Meaning comes from the meaning you give the rejection”

Your ego will get hurt.

Get over it. You will lose more than you win and that’s the whole point. It’s about how many times you can get back up again from the rejection.

Weaknesses show up in the coolest way.

The one piece of feedback that stuck out was the strategy piece. Come to think of it, I could probably do some work in this field. My natural tendency is to focus on building something rather than overthinking and doing strategy. This belief could be updated.

Rejection points out weaknesses, and often you know what they are but deny them. Through rejection, you can stop lying to yourself and finally spend time on the weakness. You can also accept the weakness for what it is and move on.

For example, I’ll never be able to read complex lines of code and I’m cool with that. Weaknesses are optional to work on. Success is about focus and a lot of the time there’s no point wasting energy on them unless your weakness is something you want to work on that can add value.

Warren Buffet is great at finance but if you ask him to pick out women’s fashion, he’d probably suck. And I’m guessing young Warren probably has no desire to fix this weakness either. That’s his choice.

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Deep thinking requires rejection.

You need rejection to help break the thought patterns that repeat in your head over and over. Once these patterns are broken, you can truly sit down and do some deep thinking about your life.

“Rejection opens the door to new ideas. Rejection is a great thought provoker”

Using rejection to cultivate positivity is how you come up with new possibilities.

Maybe the rejection is a sign that you’re trying to do something you hate or will never be good at. I found through meditation, I was able to think deeply about my recent encounter with rejection.

Through this repeated deep thinking, I realized that the rejection is a sign to keep going. I am cut out for the gig I applied for and I’m not going to give up. I do have the right strengths and I’m going to prove it.

Don’t let rejection be the end. Sometimes, rejection is the start of the journey.

Rejection can often highlight what you really want and if you want it bad enough, and you do the work, you’ll get it, eventually.

The key is not to get pissed off.

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Rejection can make you feel like crap. The moment you turn your rejection into anger, you lose all the benefits.

Yes, it’s bloody hard to deal with rejection, but blaming someone for disagreeing with you and saying no is childish.

The world rejection won’t always give you beautiful colored rainbows; sometimes you’ll get nothing but freezing cold winters until one day, the sun shines through. Winter is not forever and neither is rejection.

Maybe you didn’t pitch hard enough.

Rejection can be a sign that you didn’t pitch well. In my case, maybe I didn’t demonstrate my entrepreneurial background well. Maybe I sounded like an egotistical maniac that needs a glass of red wine and a warm fire to sit by.

“Just because your critics didn’t understand your skills, doesn’t mean they’re wrong”

Next time, when I pitch again (and I will), I now know what areas to focus on thanks to the rejection. As well as that, maybe I need to work on my pitching skills. Maybe my confidence didn’t shine through.

The truth is you’ll never know why you got rejected.

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Could have been your perfume, smile, teeth, clothes — who knows why you got rejected.

One thing is for certain: You’ll never know why you got rejected.

So, the lesson here is to stop wasting your precious time and energy on trying to figure out why.

Put that energy into your goals and maybe even into another round of pitching.

It’s probably a personality fit. People do business with people they like.

Nine times out of ten you get rejected because of a personality fit. We do business and make friends with people we like. If someone is more likable to us, we’re more likely to accept them and reject the others trying to gain our attention.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to tell someone they’re not getting the yes they want because you just don’t like them as much as Superstar Bob who shares the same hobbies as you and had an addictive confidence that is indescribable.

Don’t beat yourself up. Move on.

We all want success today.

The thing about success is we want it today. We’re impatient. Rejection is part of the success process and you’ll have to get used to it if you ever want to smash your goals and achieve the life you’ve always dreamed of.

Learning to accept rejection and be patient will help you recover much faster from rejection.

And with that, it’s time for me to head to the beach and forget about my rejection until next week. Rejection shouldn’t spoil things for any of us. It’s your best friend after all.

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Written by

Aussie Blogger with 100M+ views — Writer for CNBC & Business Insider. Inspiring the world through Personal Development and Entrepreneurship www.timdenning.com

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